Saturday, December 20, 2008

Leaning Into Christmas

As much as I can bitch about the holidaze and list all the issues I have with them, I've decided it might be healthier for me to lean into them this year - instead of trying to control how everyone else in my world does them. Let's face it; Christmas is really about intimacy and I don't know a soul who doesn't struggle with that! Yeah, shopping is a pain and all the commercialism is counter-intuitive, but many of the rituals we perform year after year can actually ground us in this chaotic time. Trust me; this is a stretch for me. I fight this season like a baby in a breach birth! ("What do you mean I have to go head first!") Thanks, Diane, for this poetic idea!

1. I hate Christmas.
2. But I still cry at songs about a birth
3. Not mine.
4. The baby Jesus's.
5. Though it's just a story
6. I still cry.
7. I play those songs on the piano
8. And sing along with Bing
9 And Andy
10. And church ladies everywhere, I suppose.
11. Music is the reason for the season.
12. Pagan songs.
13. Kwanza songs.
14. Dradle songs.
15. I sing them all.
16. I'm so P.C.
17. But the ones that make me cry
18. Are still about the baby Jesus.
19. So why do I hate Christmas?
20. Because I'm afraid.
21. Afraid it will cost too much
22. Even though I don't live under a bridge.
23. I'm afraid.
24. Afraid I'll be cranky
25. When everybody else is jolly-ole-saint-Nicholas-ing.
26. I'll be Scrooge
27 And see ghosts.
28. Or my shadow side.
29. But another thing?
30 I really love the cookies
31. And stocking stuffers.
32. And wrapping the presents.
33. I'm very creative.
34. Christmas is a creative time.
35. It creates a lot of fuss.
36. Confusion.
37. Tantrums.
38. This year
39. I'm giving up tantrums.
40. Santa may not notice
41. But my loved ones will.
42. If only for a day.
43. I won't be naughty.
44. I will be nice.
45. Like sugar and spice.


  1. Great job!!! I'm trying to lean a little, too. Tonight I watched It's a Wonderful Life with my little girl. She'd never seen it and I don't think I've watched it since she was born. Cried my eyes out, too. Tomorrow's the solstice, which I like to celebrate... so I'll lean a little more... :)

  2. Ooh I like this Gwenlyn - there's such a softness to leaning into it - sort of like all those puffy piles of snow outside!

    I'm still working on knitting my winter holiday stocking - thought T says if she can't go shopping we'll have to postpone filling it!


    P.S. We sang Light is Returning in your honor.

  3. Yes, its hard to control anything, even our selves. If we do, then it eventually has the result in exploding in our faces. Christmas is a time of allowing and accepting what is. And allowing what is, is the Liberty to be who you are without judgement or restrictions. Enjoy.......always....


Awe, go on! Throw me a bone here!